Mindset Tools to Overcome Adversity with Dominick QuartuccioPresent Beyond Measure Ep. 057
Dominick Quartuccio on Tools for Overcoming the Adversity of 2020
For the next few episodes, I’m taking the show off the beaten path of data storytelling to address the greater issues at hand in our society and world as of June 2020.
I’ll be bringing on podcast guests who will share tools, resources, and experiences that provide a compass for navigating what is going down in history as one of the most challenging years of our time.
I can’t think of anyone better to kick off that mission with my dear friend and professional speaking rockstar, Dominick Quartuccio.
Dominick Quartuccio helps corporate individuals, teams, and businesses design a future they can’t wait to live into. He also has a passion for developing highly evolved men to elevate how they show up as leaders, husbands, fathers and champions for women.
He is an international keynote speaker, trainer, executive coach and author of Design Your Future: 3 Simple Steps to Stop Drifting and Take Command of Your Life. He works with the best of the best – those who have an insatiable desire to achieve more and continuously improve themselves.
He’ll soon be releasing his second book, “on Purpose Leadership”, and A central part of his focus is working with highly successful women in male-dominated industries. Which would make him an incredible resource to follow for the Women in Analytics movement!
I don’t know anyone who has worked so tirelessly to create awareness and help others navigate the multiple crises of 2020, and I couldn’t pass up the chance to capture his deep wisdom.
In this episode, Dominick shares his most powerful stories and tools for staying cool and reframing the adversity (and opportunity) offered by the Year 2020.
In This Episode, You’ll Learn…
- The critical reflection question he asks all of his mindset workshop students
- How learning to hold space for others can help them move through their pain
- The light and dark side of forced positivity on others
- A tearfully moving story of how a woman made peace with her child’s life-threatening illness
- The simplest and most powerful tool to look at adversity with fresh eyes
“The #1 most responsible thing you can do right now is to fortify your inner foundation and to make you sure are as sturdy, stable, and providing self-care as possible.”
People, Blogs, and Resources Mentioned
- Design Your Future: 3 Simple Steps to Stop Drifting and Take Command of Your Life
- Dominick’s Great Man Mastermind retreat
- Man’s Search for Meaning by Victor Frankl
- Indistractable by Nir Eyal
How to Keep Up with Dominick:
- Contact him for his 5 Ways to Fortify Your Inner Foundation workshop
- The Great Man Within Podcast
- Dominick’s LinkedIn
NOTE: In light of the George Floyd tragedy, I am donating 20% of my net proceeds for the next four months to charitable organizations that work to reform police brutality and support peace.
Where I’m Speaking Next:
- June 10th, 2020: Interview with Jim Sterne for Marketing Analytics Summit
Thanks for Listening!
Thanks so much for joining me. Have some feedback you’d like to share, or a question? Leave a note in the comments below, and we’ll get back to you!
If you enjoyed this episode, please share it using the social media buttons you see at the left of the post.
If you liked what you heard, I would love if you could leave me a rating or review in iTunes. Ratings & reviews are extremely appreciated and very important in the rankings algorithm. The more ratings, the better chance of fellow practitioners getting to hear this helpful information!
And finally, don’t forget to subscribe to the show on iTunes to get automatic updates and never miss a show.
And as always, viz responsibly, my friends.
Hello Hello Lea Pica here. Today’s guest is helping thousands of corporate employees and leaders navigate and rise above this year’s many challenges. Stay tuned to find out who’s keeping things cool on the present beyond measure show, Episode 57. Welcome to the 57th episode of the present beyond measure show, the only podcast at the intersection of presentation data visualization, analytics and storytelling. This is the place to be if you’re ready to make maximum impact and create credibility through thoughtfully presented insights. And I’ve decided for the next few episodes, this is also the place to be to stretch a little bit outside of the sandbox on this show, and start to talk about what’s really going on in this world and how we can navigate that. So, each of the next two episodes comes in the midst of more and more strife and conflict that we see in the world. In the midst of an already challenging business and emotional climate. I’ve personally been feeling so much pain around the most recent events concerning George Floyd’s death, brutality, inequality, the consequences of that action and truly how to make a difference. So I’m starting with self awareness of an issue that hasn’t been in my core field of vision, as I support a number of other causes already on an ongoing basis, but I’ve realized there’s always room for a deeper understanding of what’s happening, hidden in plain sight right in front of our eyes right now. So for the next two episodes, I’m taking the show a little off topic, because frankly, the world has gone off topic. I want to use this platform to bring you tools and hope and guidance that you may not expect here, but I hope you’ll find invaluable. In the next episode, I interview Marilee your check of the digital analytics association with tons of resources for digital practitioners and leaders to weather the storm of 2020 But today, I am so beyond thrilled to bring you the wisdom of one of my dearest friends and professional speaking idols. He is quite busy helping corporate teams and leaders use mindfulness practices and mindset shift work to help everyone cope with and transcend the deep challenge that we are faced with right now and to Utilize the lessons offered to design a new normal that you’ll want to live into when this era comes to some sort of closure, you ready? Let’s do it. Hello, and welcome to today’s interview, I am thrilled beyond thrilled to invite today’s guest on. He helps individuals teams and businesses design a future they can’t wait to live into. He has a passion for developing highly evolved men to elevate how they show up as leaders, husbands, fathers and champions for women. Yay. And as an international keynote speaker, trainer, coach and author, he works with the best of the best. Those who have an insatiable desire to achieve more and continuously improve themselves. He walked a path as a corporate business, executive and financial services with extensive sales leadership productivity and mindset expertise. He’s the author of a book I love called design your future. And he’ll be soon releasing his second book on purpose leadership. And central part of His focus is actually working with highly successful women in male dominated industries kind of like ours, which would make him an incredible resource to follow for the women and analytics movement. And he’s here to talk today about a subject that I feel is desperately needed in all ranks of corporate America, the world leadership, and he’s going to talk about some ways to fortify your inner foundation during times of change, which we are definitely in the midst of now. So please help me welcome my dear friend, Dominic core to Chico Hello,
Lea, so good to be here with you. And this is long overdue.
We’ve been talking about this for three years now. But yeah, I’m so happy happy that I’m not happy about why I brought you on today. But I’m thrilled that you are going to be an incredible resource for the time that we are in. It’s all for a reason. So it’s a kind of a funny story, how we met, we actually worked in the same retirement department at Prudential. But somehow we never crossed paths. And then later we met at this crazy mindful entrepreneur event retreat called a Fest, both as international professional speakers.
Yeah, those two environments could not be more different. Right. So Prudential retirement. Now, what what part of retirement were you in again?
I was in the digital marketing group.
the digital marketing group, and I was in the sales group, and it’s just amazing. I was there for 15 years. And as did cross.
I know, but we had some common friends actually, we found out when we left so both of them had awesome things to say about you and hopefully vice versa. But yeah, anyway, So I, you know, I’ve been trying to get you on the show for years because you are one of the professional speakers I actually really admire the most with what you’ve been able to do with your career and the heart and the passion that you bring to your subject matter. However, I felt that this was the right time, because we’re going to veer a little off course from our normal data storytelling topic and use this platform to try to serve a corporate community that I love. So we are still in the midst of a pretty dire global situation that has just very recently accelerated with the George Floyd tragedy. And, you know, I’ve really watched how you’ve pivoted your message during this crisis, to help leadership and all ranks of corporate navigate with more ease and stay ahead of a curve that is literally changing day to day. So I appreciate you for that first of all, and I’d love for you to tell us a bit about Your origin story, how did you go from a career in finance, to being an international speaker and executive coach?
Great, yeah, we’ll spend maybe a little bit of time here. And then maybe hopefully the rest on helping your audience fortify their inner foundation. So I’ll give you the Quick, quick and dirty version. I’ve moved into the financial services world, not really loving financial services, it was just kind of a default path of, it’s a great job where there’s lots of upward mobility. You can make money, secure financial future, and spread your wings, right and learn learn about the business world. So I did that. Never was in love with it. And then I think about 10 years into my career, I was in a pretty prestigious sales job. I had a really good sales year, I tripled my sales goal that year, financially set myself up in a way that I didn’t think was going to be possible for much later. And when those financial fears went away, what was left was this question of why doesn’t it feel better? Like I’ve been working so hard to secure this secure to secure this financial secure Now that I’m here, I thought the payoff I thought the feeling inside of me would would shift to one of contentment, one of whatever, I didn’t even know what to expect. But it was this momentary blip of, well, that was cool. But now what? And when I forecasted the next 30 or 40 years in my working career, and in an arena that I didn’t really love, it made me scared. It scared me because I was like, I don’t I don’t know if I can do this feeling the way that I feel. So over the next five years, I really just started to play with what gave me energy. I started reading personal development books are attending retreats like a fest where I met people like you, I’m started to bring a spark back in my life. And when I recognized what gave me the most energy, it was really helping other people unlock what is important to them, finding a sense of purpose and meaning in their life and to unlock their biggest potential. Because I know as you know, like there are so many people Who are super talented at what they do? who feel the sense of restlessness, this feeling of like maybe I’m trapped in the life I created for myself. I know there’s more out there from yet, but I don’t know exactly how to get at it and and not look and they’re not looking to make a revolutionary change like I made, you know, like leaving a corporate career and becoming an entrepreneur. So that’s who I help work with now are the people who they know they’ve gotten more, and they don’t know exactly how to get at it and, and they just need some direction and some support.
Wow, that’s incredible. I mean, I heard that same exact siren call in the same department. It’s just so funny. Where I came across this article called Are you living in a velvet coffin? And it was this idea that your profession or choice job life that you’re in, is comfortable, and cushy, and luxurious, even And you’re always moving one step towards dying rather than living. And it was that same kind of watershed moment that there was something more out there. And I’m just so thrilled that not only did you take that leap, which is terrifying for many, many people, I would imagine now that there were many entrepreneurs who decided to make this leap right before this and,
wow, I the timing,
timing. But the fact that you’re also still encouraging and nurturing that risk taking adventurousness and people, you know, despite whatever the stories they’ve been told, and the limiting beliefs that are holding them back. I really appreciate that so much.
And thank you, Leah. You know, the thing that you just said that kind of kicked something up in my mind is, you know, most people want to live a life that feels life giving. But somehow over time we default into this life that feels more Like life preserving hmm right and and especially we could we can really feel that right now over like the the quarantine era with all this uncertainty about the future like we’ve been dropped into this scarcity we’ve dropped into this fearful for many right reasons, right many of your listeners may have lost loved ones or businesses and jobs, right jobs to exactly. And, and and we can get into this life preserving mode that stays with us not just for weeks or months but like years and decades. And if you think back to like that period of your life where that fire was really burning, you know, I’m going to make something of myself in this world. Whenever that was maybe you’re feeling it now. Maybe that was there decades ago. And you’re like, you know, on a deeper level, there’s more out there. Yeah. So it’s even actually a great question for someone who’s listening right now. If you were to put like a like a continuum, and then like, you know, a midway point, and on the left hand side is life preserving. I’m sorry. Yeah, life preserving right hand side is life. Giving? Where are you on that continuum? Right? Right. And where do you want to be is the next big question. Right? Where are you right now? And where do you want to be?
You know, that’s a really interesting question to ask right now because I think so many people more than ever feel less empowered to even think about a different place. Right now. We’re so consumed with just not losing wherever we were at on that continuum and slipping more. But what I’m finding interestingly, as I’m, it’s made me ask a lot of questions about like, what is it that I really want to be doing and how I want to be showing up in order to say every day Oh, that was it? This was it. Yeah. You know, one of my health practitioners who looks at health from a psychic and energetic perspective, rather than a solely biological perspective, when Look at the different physical ailments that you’re having. He asks a very challenging question, which is, if you could wave a magic wand and make this situation exactly the way you want, how would it be different than where it is. And in that gap is where all of the subconscious programs are living, that are going to keep you happy unless you change your situation, or you change yourself to meet your situation.
Right on, you know, it’s the way that I asked that question, because I think is beautiful, is I asked people, what is it that you’re feeling? What do you want to feel? Right? And then and then what are the tools you have to move from where you are to where you want to go? And and like it’s, it’s, you know, one of the things that I’ve done over these last 10 weeks Leah and I hope I’m not putting the cart before the horse here. But, you know, over the last 10 weeks, I probably run about 50 webinars, right for like many corporate clients, and then some nonprofit per client, I would say 75% corporate. And I asked everyone the same question, like, what’s the one word that best describes how you’re feeling right now? And I’ve asked that to over 1000 people over this 10 week period, week by week. And then I take all those answers, and I’ve put them into a word cloud. And if you don’t know what a word cloud is, it’s basically like, the bigger the word, the more frequency that that number will actually all of your people know. It’s worth all data. But data. Yeah. Sorry, folks. I laughs I know, I know who I’m talking to. So it just, yeah, so So this word cloud has has been relatively static over the last 10 weeks, where the answers are nine out of 10 negative sentiments. That was likely the biggest word is typically anxious, followed by stressed, overwhelmed, exhausted, that there’s angry fear, uncertainty, Groundhog’s Day, come up. Hey, like those things come up. Now. What’s been fascinating about that Leah is Like week over week, I asked that question and I’m getting the same answers, right? Like it hasn’t really shifted. I’m seeing a minor uptick, like these past few weeks as we’re starting to open back up, but still, it’s like eight out of 10. And that tells me that number one, people aren’t really even aware of what it is that they’re feeling until they’re asked like pause. And the second part of that is, well, what do you want to feel because if we’re being if we’re staying stuck for 10 weeks, in anxious stress, overwhelmed, exhausted, but have not identified an alternative feeling that we are striving for, then using a tool like a specific tool, or action steps or habits or systems that get us from point A to point B, then we will continue to spend weeks 1112 through 20 through 50 feeling the same way so yes, like it’s it’s helpful to know where you are, where you want to go and what can get you there.
Wow, that is really powerful. Especially as a person who Have to really really work hard to maintain a positive state naturally, like freely feel joy and, and stuff. And, you know, I love that practice and that journey and this experience, I would think for anyone that has a general glass half empty mindset would just put this into a death spiral because that’s a comfortable place to be. I’m willing to admit that. So what for you is the best possible way the fastest gentlest, possible way for those to see optimism when it just seems to be getting worse and worse.
Yeah, you know, I think one of the things that I’ve gotten frustrated by is when someone tries to force feed me optimism, or force feed me appreciate like, when when it doesn’t feel that way. Right. And like the, the Grand Canyon sized gap between where I’m feeling and this like genuine state of appreciation. It’s just, it’s It’s insurmountable. Right? So I’m only looking for what’s the next step up? Like, you know what I mean? If I’m feeling anxious thing, right? Like if I’m feeling anxious, neutral sounds pretty darn good to me, right? Like move from anxious to neutral versus anxious to blissful or joyful. Or it’s too big of a gap. It’s like asking someone who’s had a drained bank account to go from that to millionaire overnight. And it’s like, you know, to shift that mindset. In my, I’m in the business of change, right? I’m in the business of helping people to change. And change doesn’t happen very often, in dramatic sudden ways with herculean leaps. It happens with consistent, small wins, incrementally reinforced over time. So again, it can come from like if you’re feeling you know, I know a number of people in my life who have dealt with depression, and depression, like one of the things that like is a step up from depression is anger because there’s actually energy Ain’t, there’s no energy in depression, it feels like hopelessness, it feels like lethargy. So even to move from depression to anger is a step up, because that anger can be harnessed, then to move into something else. As long as you kind of know that, like, there’s a journey I’m on to move from where I am to where I want to go. And there are many steps in between, you can break it down however you want, and then figure out what the tools are that are available to you to get there. And we’re gonna be talking about some of those, you know, today. Mm hmm.
Now, this is a really important thing to understand because especially in our mindful spiritual, a fest type community. There’s a lot of stuff around the love attraction and don’t think any negative thoughts and you’re, you’re a toxic person and you’re dragging everyone down if you feel anything negative. And, you know, what I’ve been starting to study, in the midst of all of this is how trauma is impacting people’s perception of what’s going on right now. And we’re a world filled with unresolved trauma and I think we’re seeing that play out in a big way. Right now, rather than just, you know, violence and racism, it’s it’s actually all going back to trauma for me from seeing. So when you are forced feeding optimism to someone or labeling them as negative, what you’re doing is compounding a huge amount of shame. Or they might be creating that shame on their own because they, they want to know what it’s like to feel better. So one of my favorite quotes, of course, I can’t remember it exactly is from Alice in Wonderland. And Alice is in a, in a bad mood. And I’m forgetting Johnny Depp’s character, I have bad memory for these things, the Mad Hatter. So he says something to the effect. Like, if you can’t see the sunshine, then I’ll sit with you here in the dark. Ooh. And I think that’s so powerful because I’m starting to cultivate a support network. That isn’t always true. Trying to make me feel better, but rather they’re receiving whatever those emotions are that come up and saying, God, yeah, I can see why you feel that way. Right? And you just sit with it. And that’s for me, one of the fastest ways to move through is just to have that feeling acknowledged and received because I often won’t acknowledge it for myself, if I don’t feel the people around me. Well, that’s right,
man, that was beautiful that that day like I felt, I felt a ripple through myself when you said that which is, it’s, um, right now, people are feeling all sorts of emotions and feelings. Everyone is experiencing this differently, right? Like some people, their business has never been better.
Lea Pica 20:50
For the company,
your toilet paper company or your hand sanitizer company like your business thriving. There are introverts who are loving the amount of free time You know, or the time to themselves and but then there’s like the entire other end of the spectrum where people like you said, have lost their jobs, lost their homes, lost their family members lost their loved ones. And there’s a whole range of people in between. And so like when when you’re trying to tell someone how they should feel, what you are, in essence saying is, I don’t see you, I don’t hear you. I don’t understand you, nor am I willing to make the effort.
Right and and assign me and I don’t want it.
Yeah, yeah. And that pushes someone further into the darkness versus like sitting them sitting there with them in the darkness. So that’s why like, you know, just even employers who need to recognize that like the people that are in there, under their purview, the people that are in their organization, there’s the whole spectrum of people dealing with things and to ask them to turn the corner or to be optimistic or to be bright, like they’re not feeling that way you are alienating them and they are feeling unseen. Which is going to cause them to feel even more disengaged or disconnected from the workforce and the climate is going to be subtly saddle sabotage over time. And when you talk about trauma, Leah like the way that I’ve experienced the the Coronavirus, kind of there’s almost like two categories of people. You have the one category of people who experienced the acute shock, right? The green, these are like many of our frontline health care workers and FedEx. But again, anyone who’s lost a loved one or their job, or like, that’s a huge shock, the rest the rest have experienced this slow shock. And Brian Stacy was the one who coined that it was just like, this is a slow shock of, you know, the boiling frog, right? You put a frog in warm water, you turn off that, and all of a sudden you’re like, you know, week number 123 and quarantine and we’re like that we are in the midst something that has never experienced before. We have no idea how long this is going to take to unravel what the implications are. There’s so much uncertainty, and that’s all in our system, too. Not it’s not going to go away. When we open the doors back up for business, right? It’s going to stay inside of us for a long time unless people are given the tools and the resources, not only to adapt to this new normal, but to build a better normal than what we had.
That’s right. Improve. Remember the the ways that the means that this showed us that there were improvements that to be made, because that time is gone, at least for now. And I don’t know, when we’ll approach a time again, where this is a distant memory and everything’s back to normal. But I really like what you’re saying about what can we remember about this time periods? How we can say, oh, let’s not go back there. Right. I was terrible.
Yeah, everyone’s saying liquid go back to normal back to normal back to normal. Listen, normal wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows.
People were burning out. People were stressed out. People were We’re tired of being overworked of traveling too much or being away from their families. And now there’s a whole bunch of other things to complain about too. I’m not saying, I’m not saying that these things aren’t like like justifiably able to compete, but but it does raise awareness around. No matter what our life condition, we always seem to have some sense of discontent, always seem to have some level of discontent, and to recognize that no matter the when I had a chance to study Nietzsche, in Buddhism A number of years ago, there there was this concept of the 10 worlds this may help like, illuminate what I’m trying to say, at the bottom level, world level number one, that’s where Hell is right? No hope, level 10 is enlightenment, right? Like we all kind of understand this concept of enlightenment where everything is bliss and joy and like, you know, nothing can get in your way. But I remember being surprised by what the seventh world was. And in each year in Buddhism, they defined the seventh world as heaven, Nirvana. Now I grew up going to Catholic school, you know, seven years Catholicism and going to church and I was like, wait, heaven was like the ultimate end state, and the way that they defined heaven or Nirvana, not religiously speaking, but just like their own terms for it. It was when you have organized all of the external conditions have your environment in a way that is perfectly aligned for you. All of the circumstances are perfect. Your job is perfect, your partner’s perfect your kids are well behaved. You’re sleeping perfectly all the food is prepared to your liking. There’s no traffic on the freeway, like, you name it, everything is perfect, right? That’s Heaven, Nirvana. And as soon as one of those things changes, then you become disenfranchised. You you don’t like it, and then that can create a sense of suffering. And then it spirals out of control. And and so what that is saying is that when you exit when you’re working with the external world, those things are temporary transient impermanent and if we if we attach all of our well being, to needing everything in the world to be perfect, then we end up in a situation like where the Coronavirus throws us the world’s biggest curveball of all time. And we suffer because we’ve attached all of our inner foundation to external things. Yeah. And then that causes us to spiral. So all everything that I talked about Leo, when it’s talking about like on purpose, leadership or designing your future, it’s always About going inward, so that you can find inner strength and stability. So you could stand amidst a tornado, a storm and you can be the lighthouse.
Right? Right and the lighthouse for yourself and others and you know, what you said really, actually made me think of something I read in near a book in distractible, which was that generally humans are wired for unhappiness and discontent like you just said, which leads to this constant striving for improved And that’s served us. But in not recognizing it, we’re always going to be focusing on whatever we lost, especially in this situation. Whereas what I’m trying to also do in the story I just told you right before this is I’ve seen my son about five times more than I normally would because he’s now splitting his time equally. So the memories that we’ve made including him trying to interrupt to this interview by telling me about a dwarf planet and the asteroid belt is something I would have missed. So it’s made me question what do I want life to look like afterwards? And also that’s a really good point about being the lighthouse in the storm because in talking about you know, positivity I’ve been fortunate I live in the countryside I can look outside and all around me and feel a sense of okayness sorry, you know, you know, a miss business challenges, but it’s it’s been pretty Good. So I’ve now started to develop a heaviness that I’m not feeling worse than I should be that I’m not out there in the riots and everything going on right now. And should I be feeling happy?
Right now, no one needs you to feel worse, like the world does not get better by anyone feeling worse. First and foremost, the number one most responsible thing that you are any one of your listeners can do right now, this is so true. And everyone needs to hear this. The number one most responsible thing that you can do right now is to fortify your inner foundation and to make sure that you are a sturdy, stable and and providing as much self care as possible. Because there is so much angst there’s so much stress. There’s so much tension in this world that’s bouncing off of each other right now and when when like to stress people interact with each other. That’s like, you know, recipe for an explosion now When you’re talking about like an entire organization of people who are like at their tipping point, interacting with each other making decisions for the future of their company based from a place of fear, like that, that doesn’t set up a sturdy foundation. So So I think what you’re getting at Leah is, how do I, you know, like, allow myself to feel good, feel confident, feel clear, but not have my head in the sand like an ostrich and denying like, what’s going on out there. And, and so like, guilt and shame about how well you’re feeling right now isn’t doing nobody a service, because like, we need more people who are feeling the way that you feel because there’s gonna be someone who comes to you, who needs an ear, who is panicked, who needs guidance, and, you know, and like even what you’re doing right now by bringing this like my voice on, is because like you’re in a place where you’re able to do that you’re eliciting questions you’re asking and guiding because you’re in a like an in a stable place. If you’re in fear and distracted, and like this wouldn’t land at the same way. So I guess is, that’s how we that’s how I look at it.
I appreciate that. And that is really powerful because you know, as we we talked about before, in terms of people we see as toxic or negative and they’re dragging us down and distance yourself. Those are the ones who are most likely suffering from the most unresolved trauma. And you know, you talked about sort of the slow trauma and the fast there’s an actual term for that which I discovered right before all of this happened. I don’t think by accident, which is acute PTSD from that’s the first part versus complex PTSD, which is not nearly as known about and understood, where you might have had what looked like a semi normal childhood, or gone through a period of time like this that had like a long protracted time period, but there was nothing extremely Like an earthquake, but it still results in the same symptoms the conditions look exactly the same. And those are the folks that are going to need the most outside help from others the most acknowledging it because they just don’t have the tools to do it inside I’m, I consider myself one of those people where as much as I can do for myself, the more powerful help comes from the outside for now, as I learned to kind of get my baby deer legs straightened out again. Right process.
Right and Leah, you know, one of the things that you in the introduction you mentioned that like I have two very specialized areas of work primarily I work with with men, high performing men, and I also do a lot of work with with women, women in male dominated businesses, I’ve run retreats in both etc. But when it comes to like the high performing men, most of these guys tend to go at it on their own, right like they they’re rugged individualist. They deal with stress. Anxiety on their own because as men from a very early age like we have been socialized into what’s called the man box, which is basically like, you know, which is in Clio Stiller’s book not modern manhood. And the man box basically dictates among other things that if you were to show weakness or insecurity or to admit that you don’t have an answer, then you have now stepped outside the man box you’re no longer considered a man and and now we’re grown adults who don’t know how to, to deal with some of these like super stressful situations we go out and on our own, and we don’t have the tools or the skills to go inward. And and that’s why what you’re saying I want to really double down on is some of that really needs to come from the outside. Yeah, you know, like, like when I was 30. And I hit my peak, right when, like at the beginning when I told you kind of had my best sales year ever, and I recognized that it didn’t feel the way I thought it would. Up until that point in my life. I had no mentors or counsel. slurs are anyone that could like guide me. So the last 11 years of my life have been around selecting those people who I trust to guide me. Every every heroic movie that you’ve ever loved, like, you know, guide the matrix, right like, you know, Neo had Morpheus and Luke Skywalker had Yoda and Obi Wan I mean, everyone has a mentor that helps you to transcend your your present day capabilities. And our stories would not be interesting if the hero went and did it all on their own. Exactly right. Right. And so like for us, we also need those outside forces and it’s a matter of recognizing that finding peace and power in that and then selecting appropriately for you.
I love that advice so much. And what I would love to encourage the community to do is ask yourself, can I be Yoda for a friend? Do I need to be a highly decorated and experienced coach life coach to just help a friend out of a rough spot just by sitting there with them. I think that person is in all of us once we step just a little outside of our own survival box right now, which is very, very hard to do. And just say, I can hold this for you. And, you know, this is kind of speaking to what’s a little bit deeper in my heart right now, aside from data storytelling, and, you know, the Coronavirus, chart, brigade and all of that, but I’m so glad that we’re having this conversation because it’s not something I think is talked about enough in my field.
Yeah, my pleasure. I mean, I’ll go all day on this.
This is going to be an eight hour. So I want to get practical. We talked a little bit about some of the tools and resources for 45 mindset and you’re like the tool King when it comes to that.
Yeah. Yeah. So so one of the things that I did at the very beginning of the the quarantine arrow is I picked up a book that is one of the top 10 most important books in my life called Victor Frankel’s Man’s Search for Meaning. And what I love doing is like whenever I’m going through a rough time or a world going through a rough time, I like to go back to periods of time that had it as rough or worse, and then have lived to tell the tale and have wisdom to help us through and help us to see in a cloudy storm and Viktor Frankl if you don’t know about him, he was a Holocaust survivor. Right? He spent three years in concentration camps. He was ripped away from his family, which he found out later, we’re all exterminated. He was beaten, he was starved all his freedoms were taken from him. He had nothing his entire external world was controlled by the outside. And yet he managed to find hope and meaning in the most hopeless and meaningless of circumstances because he said, I have a reason to survive. And I’m going to tell my tale after I leave here. And one of the things that he said and I’ve read this quote to myself, For to, you know, on people on podcasts or webinars every single day for the last 11 weeks he’s had when we can no longer change his situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. He could not change his situation, he was incarcerated, he was under control. When we are looking around the world that we’re in right now, there’s so much that we cannot control. And when we cannot control the external world, it actually forces us to look at the one truth that really always exists, which is the only thing we have control over is our inner state, how we guide ourselves. And that’s easier said than done. because like you said before, you know, like we’ve conditioned ourselves to say this before but it’s like, sometimes I need the help from the outside world, right? But like to give you some real practical tools around how to fortify your inner foundation. I think I can jump into some of those if you’d like me to do that now,
I would first I’d love to say, you know, what I think you’re hitting on is this idea of resistance. It’s, I heard a quote once that all discomfort is like a two sided arrow or a double arrow, the first being whatever is the thing making you uncomfortable. And the second is the resistance you have to the discomfort that the first arrow is causing and part of that inner journey is figuring out how to release that resistance arrow into what is were a perfect example was I actually began reading Man’s Search for Meaning at the beginning of a very difficult health issue I had a few years ago when I felt utterly hopeless. And right in the beginning, he mentioned something to the around, thinking of yourself as a suffer or a survivor. Yep, that the same situation could lead to suffering but it’s how you see yourself as having come out. And that’s what I think some of your tools are really powerful are helping to choose how you want to feel about that.
100% and I’d love to share a story with you that that I’ve been telling quite a bit over the last few months that really seems to resonate and last and it helps to like you know, really emphasize this point you’re making. So when I was at Prudential retirement, I worked with a woman named Stan Boyle write her short for Christine and this is probably a woman you don’t know right? Maybe even though okay. Stan is legendary. Everybody loves her. She’s She’s like quick with a smile, quick witted and super smart at everything that she does. But back in 2015, Stan’s beloved daughter Harper, five years old at the time was diagnosed with leukemia. And you know that that’s devastating news for any parent and the road that is ahead of chemotherapy. Men and Stan, you know, basically had to help guide her daughter through multiple years of that. And Stan and I talked just about two months ago right at the beginning of the quarantine. And she said, you know, Dominic Harper and I and my family went through this multi year process of chemotherapy of treatments. But the first 30 days, were by far the most torturous from the day that she was diagnosed for the 30 days of followed those were by far and away the most painful 30 days of that entire multi year process and I stand I’m like, What was it about those first 30 days that made it so challenging? And she said, I was in denial. I did not want to believe that my daughter Harper had this disease that she could potentially lose her life. I did not want to believe that she was going to have to be taken away from her friends as they were playing and she was going to have to go and get poisoned in her body and lose her hair and potentially get sick to her stomach. And then maybe not survive this. I didn’t want to believe that maybe I had something to do with this because, you know, like her motherly instinct of device or something that I did you know, all. Yeah, all of that came in and she was like, and when I was doing that, I was not sleeping, I wasn’t eating well, I was short with my daughter and my husband and my partner. Like everything started to so when you know, you’re talking about, there’s the reality of the situation. daughter has leukemia, that’s painful. The suffering that’s layered on is the resistance like this isn’t this shouldn’t be it. And like I don’t, why me and all the other things that come along which are totally justifiable, but we’re causing her extraordinary pain. And I asked her, Stan, what shifted? Well, on day 31, I chose this reality. I chose it, which didn’t mean that I was giving up which didn’t mean that I loved what was happening. It didn’t mean that everything was easy? It was easier, because I could now show up and see the situation for what it was, which was, yes, she has leukemia, yes, it’s gonna require treatment and a financial outlay, yes is going to mean we’re going to live in fear and uncertainty for a considerable period of time. And now that I know all of that I accept all of that I can see my suffering. And I can show up on a daily basis rested, coming to a place of coming from a place of love for Harper versus her feeling my fear, and also my colleagues and co workers and my partner feeling the same way. So I think the the way I want to wrap this up for like your listeners is we’re still fighting, many of us are still fighting the reality that we are in an unprecedented time that we don’t know when the schools are going to go back open. We don’t know when we’re going to be able to dine out in public with with other people. We don’t know if we’re going to get our jobs back or if our jobs are Going to stay. And when we are when we are clinging to the need for answers now versus like understanding what this is an uncertain environment that we are being asked to, to, to navigate in for the unforeseeable future, then we are suffering inordinately because of that resistance.
Right? Oh my gosh, that is an incredibly powerful story. And what’s interesting about it to me is that there was a transition, where sometimes I find that I can get rushed to that transition to choose that better thought like, don’t let it linger for too long. But what I think we’re unpacking around the resistance aspect is it’s a mourning. It’s a grieving process. And this is a lot of what all of the behaviors that we’re seeing, especially out right now, and whether it’s long term You know, when is my son going to get to see his grandmother again, versus, you know what’s happening in the cities. And people have to understand that anytime life shifts drastically in a way that we didn’t really want. There’s a death of some kind. It’s a death of the attachment we’ve built to whatever way that was. And to try to right away Finally, well, I’m alive, so great. Yeah, if you’re able to make that shift that quickly, then that’s incredible. But I think for many of us, and what it sounds like for her was that she properly allowed for a grieving process to happen and there are stages to grief. Anger is actually one of the first stages of a true grieving process because it’s like the easiest outward explosion of energy. That still doesn’t let us get to the soft underbelly, which is the sadness which is just The hardest emotion to allow yourself to feel because it feels like a what’s the right word? Feels like giving up? Nowhere like a defeat. It feels like a defeat never give up. You know? And, sure, sometimes I have Yeah, go ahead. Sorry.
No, I was gonna say like we and we glorify the fight like we glorify the fighters their resistance, and there’s a place in time for resistance and for fighting, but like when it comes to this kind of stuff, it’s it’s very different, right? I mean, like, this is going to be a long game, right? This is a long game, just like Stan’s situation was a multi year game. You can’t like like, you can’t sustain that level of resistance over that period of time. She needed her energy to make sure that like she was showing up for you know, in a variety of other reasons. And so again, Stan went and did what we talked about earlier, which was the three questions of what am I feeling? Yeah, right. Like what am I feeling now? Wow, I’m Feeling resistance, I’m suffering, I’m making this worse. I’m in denial. What do I want to feel? I want to feel acceptance. I want to feel like I’m showing up as the best mother possible cool, what tools we have available? Well, like, you know, what she ate, what she, what she, what she, how she went to bed, how she slept, who she spent time with, when information that she consumed self care protocols, like all of these things, then became the levers that she pulled. But it required a certain level of awareness to pause recognize that, right? And so like for someone who’s listening to this episode, right now, you can probably already start to recognize like where you have been resisting,
right? And like
and like identify, okay, now what is it that I’m feeling? What would I like to feel and then what tools do I have available for me to shift that?
That is fantastic. I love that so much. And one of the tools I know you talked about it on your webinar as simple one, but it doesn’t come easy to a lot of us and that is gratitude. So I We’d love for you to speak on that.
Yeah, and gratitude is, you know, one of those things where if you get force fed gratitude, then it can also be like, stop that. Alright, so I love teaching through story. So if you have like maybe two or three minutes for this story, okay? So about seven or eight years ago, I was in this coaching program called Strategic Coach. It’s basically a place for entrepreneurs to go and learn how to double their time, double their income, and about 50 people in this program. And let’s say I met this guy named john, we’re gonna call him john, right? john was basically the epitome of an energy vampire. And I’m trying to say this compassionately. This is how he was right. He was a very successful CPA practice owner, multi seven figure business, but he had built his entire life around like looking at what could go wrong, and that served him really well in his business. Right. So like he was the type of person when you spent any kind of time with him. You walked away feeling gutted, just darker, heavy, heavy. So I think I made sure that like when he sat down, I would sit like at a table. And you know, that kind of thing. And just because I want to preserve my energy and like I had compassion, yeah, I’m sure he didn’t want to be that way. But it’s just how he was. So he raised his hand one day in class, and our teacher, our mentor, his name is Lee Brower. And he said, Lee, I’m having a problem with my business. our bottom line is strong, but I’m losing all of our top talent, you know, that train them up, they come to the top ranks, and then they leave go to one of our competitors. I can’t figure out how to keep them. And I think that I’m the problem. And Lee said, what, what makes you think that you’re the problem? And to John’s credit, like, you know, he was very vulnerable. Here he goes, I do an assessment of what’s the climate that I set for my environment every year. One being the lowest 10 being the best place you could ever possibly work. And we asked in last john, like, Okay, well, what was the score you got back this year, and he said, my employees rated this place to work a 1.5 like as low as you could possibly get point five charity points. And so Lee looked at john and said, Thank you for sharing. I appreciate your vulnerability. And john, what I know about you is that like you have built your attention and attuned your sense as to what could go wrong because as a CPA, building contingency plans, seeing what could be like wrong coming around the corner have made you very valuable for your employees and as a practitioner, makes you exceptional. As a leader, it’s also the very thing that probably makes you insufferable because when you’re leading people from that perspective, and you’re constantly micromanaging, questioning or ever it causes a rift in your organization so like you’ve got this one muscle on the right side of your body but think about like an Arnold Schwarzenegger size muscle of looking at like what’s what could go wrong. You built in flex that muscle, you have not worked out the other side, which is looking at like what could go right like that much atrophied, you know, like you’re talking about just Like, like frail. So he’s like your prescription is going to be a gratitude exercise. And john kind of like rankled like, you know, like, gratitude. I paid $10,000 for, you know, gratitude. And he’s like, Listen, this is a training program for you to look at what could go right. So for the next 90 days, I want you to write down three things per day that you’re grateful for small, medium, large, whatever you want to client, your daughter graduate is going to college or like the coffee that you made this morning was made to your liking whatever, just like look for what’s positive. to John’s credit, he ended up doing like 1330 a day like this guy was maniacal. Well over 90 day period, Leah like he he ended up compiling thousands of these things. That over the course of 90 days, when he flew back from LA to Chicago, where we met he would read them on the flight and this guy’s energy was like was shifting before our eyes like you could feel the vampire drained from him. And at the end of the year when, when he when he surveyed his employees again. We asked, you know, like, what what did they score you he said I went from a 1.5 to an 8.5. And the gratitude practice wasn’t the only thing of course, but it was kind of like the trajectory shifter that allowed him to see how much of his time and energy had been focused on what was negative. And then he started to like, appreciate his employees promote his employees give them distance, and they started to stick around, they love the climate. And a few quarters later, when john was diagnosed with third stage prostate cancer, instead of going down the spiral of my dad died of cancer. This is my time. The first impulse he had was to write down 10 things he was grateful for. And one of those things was like taking a walk with his wife in the morning where he felt the sun’s shining down on his body and hers and the warmth of her hand and how much he loved her right He and he came back later, like cancer free and said to us, if I hadn’t done that practice that like that cancer diagnosis could very well have killed me because I would have said, it’s my time. Why is me? And he’s like, now I have my wife to live for I have my business jets live where I’ve made to live for. And so for him, it was the training that mattered, right, the training his attention away from what could go wrong, to something that allowed him to feel much more optimistic.
That is an incredibly powerful story in it. It can make you feel like wow, if I have a rough day, I want to feel okay, having a rough day. But if your rough day has turned into a month, a year, 10 years, and generally there’s nothing too catastrophic, then yeah, it’s kind of what Joe dispenza talks about where he says like, there’s different phases of how our emotions get ahold of us, where Something happens and we have an emotional reaction. If we don’t deal with it in a certain way with acceptance, but also working on the upsides, it becomes a mood. And then that mood becomes over. There’s another phase that I’m missing. But eventually it becomes a character trait where the pattern from that initial emotional reaction is never broken. And what’s incredible it sounds like this was a character trait which are the hardest to break. I know personally, I have a few. But in recognizing that there was something else, something positive and gratitudes a big part of my daily practice as well. I know that I slip up into my old traits, when I am not being very conscious of what’s amazing in my life. So that is a powerful, simple, not simple tool.
I mean to me, it is It can be as simple as you know, like you, you write it on your notes on your iPhone or throughout the course of the day, you can have a journal that you do first thing in the morning or end of night, I’ve slipped in and out of gratitude practices, you know, it’s one of my favorite gratitude practices is to just, like, let other people know how grateful I am for them. Like it could be as simple as, like, think about this, Lia, there are people walking around, who are like so grateful for you. Maybe like your listeners who have never told you. So you don’t even know like you don’t even know the impact that here’s here’s my here is here’s a directive. I would say if you have listened to Leah’s podcast before, and like you’ve gotten some value out of it or something nugget has like changed your life in a small or big way and you’ve not let her know, send her an email or write her a rating and review and let her know because she’s unaware, unaware. And when you think about that, it’s almost like, like, there’s money that you haven’t put in the bank, like you haven’t cashed or you’ll never use it. You know, it’s kind of Like,
like honey in a mattress mattress, and then they die without
like ever, like giving it away to anybody or ever spending it or investing it. And like this is true, right? So I like the practice of if someone’s impacted my life small or big just to reach out to them, let them know it lights up their day and then that light up light comes back at me tenfold and we all have a chance to amplify our our vibration however we’re feeling
that was incredibly sweet. And I did not pay dominance. Say that but you want them to share? No, you know, you know what’s fascinating you’re you’re hitting on something that I have to keep front of mind is, you know, as a road warrior who’s not on the road anymore as you are. We’re like stuck in these environments where we’ve been completely separated from our audiences and that energy that feedback that we get. So that’s one of the things I’ve struggled with most is feeling so distant. connected to my audience. So I’ve done a few online virtual speaking sessions and panels and stuff. And I was shocked by you know, it wasn’t like a tsunami wave. But there were people that just took a moment to ask a question on a panel, but first expressed their appreciation for finding this podcast four years ago and, and whatnot. And I was like, what, like you, you forget what you’re creating in this little bubble that we’re in and, I mean, you’re a shining example of that kind of ripple effect that it can have.
Yeah, thank you. And, and I think there’s an opportunity for all of us to just make it a more regular part of our existence to acknowledge and recognize people when they’re doing great things. And it takes us out, you know, like, one of the things that I one of the themes that people have said to me about this quarantine area is they feel disconnected from other people, right. Like, like Like you can be physical like we are physically disconnected. But it doesn’t mean that we need to stay emotionally disconnected or spiritually disconnected. And the ways to like we just have to get more creative, right? So like your older mechanisms of coming and hanging out and hugging people, those are on pause for a while. Now get creative, like like flex your muscle and figure out, like what other ways are there of being connected. And whenever I let someone know that I’m grateful for them, there’s an emotional like that I can send across the continents across the seas, that I can feel right here right now. And that person can feel it too. Therefore we are connected. So if you’re feeling isolated, and like you’re you’re jonesing for a hug or some love, tell someone how you feel about them, you’ll get you’ll have a flavor of that. No question.
So, so gratitude for someone is a giant virtual hug.
I love that. So much I’m going to try to make that a practice on a more regular basis. Because if you don’t tell someone you appreciate them, it’s only going to live in your mind. Right?
That’s right. And there’s a quote I put in my presentations and I forget who says it maybe GB Stern, I forget, it says, silent gratitude isn’t of much use to anyone. Oh, man, you know, silent gratitude isn’t of much use to anyone. So, you know, like, I mean, again, going back to like, asking your listeners like if if if you have received value or benefit to like, lately and know that I know as a podcaster. myself, when I have people who reach out and they’re like this episode. Yeah. And this thing that I learned, like helped me to do that. It was like, Oh, my gosh, that like is really rough. Because I put out all sorts of stuff that I think is fantastic. I have no idea. And then I put out other stuff that I think is terrible or not terabyte or whatever, put anything that’s terrible. I’m just like, I don’t know if anybody is going to resonate with this. Like I did a whole podcast. Asked about, it’s time to start getting more curious about your father. You know, like in your father relations,
I saw that I can’t wait to listen to that one.
Leah, when I was recording that one I was like, I don’t know if anybody is going to hear what I had to say. And that episode, like people are coming out of the woodwork and like, I listen. And I’ve been listening for months and for a year. And I’m like, I’ve never heard from you before. And I had no idea that this connected. So like this actually helps to build momentum too. So please, like don’t ever think that how you feel about someone is truly known. Let them know.
Right? Or that they’re so far removed in their ivory tower that they wouldn’t listen if you if you reached out. Correct. We’re all just humans. And we all just want to know that we’re making a difference, right?
Well, we’re almost out of time. But in the same vein of what we’re talking about, I would love to know who’s been your biggest inspiration during this crisis.
Who’s been my biggest my biggest inspiration? Wow, that’s you know what, Leah that I hope this comes off the right way. I happen I get it. And here’s what I mean by that. You know, I run a mastermind of men it’s called the great man mastermind which is predicated on the belief that inside of every one of us, there’s a great man that is that that has the secrets to our fullest potential. I believe the same thing about women too, right? Inside of all, every every woman, there’s a great woman who knows, right? Like, this is her intuition that’s speaking. And one of the things that I talk about with my group of men is we oftentimes look everywhere, but inward, to find out like to find inspiration. You know, I do this whole exercise with our guys called You are the most interesting man in the world, not just the jozek these guys Like you are, and I want, like you are the most interesting man in the world. And I want you to write down 10 things that are interesting about you. And I want you to share it with these other men. And then and so like over these last, like 10 or 11 weeks, I’ve gone so deeply inward around meditation around reading around seeing what a made up around journaling around. I went from a weekly podcast, to daily podcasting, which is a humongous leap right now, like a commitment to put out something that’s high quality at my standard. So it’s interesting when you ask me the question of like, who has been the most inspiring person? It doesn’t feel like hubris to say I am is because like, I have truly said, okay, Dominic, now it’s your time to shine because I have spent a decade of my life where I’ve been doing the inner work and relying upon outside voices. This was my time to finally go inward and say, I’ve got all the tools I have the path. Now it’s my time to find myself the most inspiring person and Ah, this brings me back to Matt like so. So Matthew McConaughey, I think he was on stage during one of the Oscar ceremony. Someone was like, Who is your hero? and makaan. He said me 10 years from now. He’s like, I don’t want to be anybody else. I want to be me. Like that, like this amazing version of me 10 years from now and why don’t we all feel that way?
Right? I think because we don’t all have the capacity to vision, our fullest potential. But I think you’re a rare breed of species. That you have those glimpses and you can recognize where you are, but you have all the people I’ve met. I don’t think I’ve met anyone who has been so diligent about creating a path like cutting a swath through the underbrush, to a clear path to exactly who you want to be. And when we checked in recently around, you know, what does life look like for us right now? I was just amazed by the fortitude and the commitment that you had to doing everything you possibly could think of to use your gifts to serve me, you’re my hero to.
Well, thank you and I would love for you, thank you for those beautiful words that those those really resonate deeply. And I would also want you to be your hero, right? And like there are those moments like, I know where you you like you have shown up and shined on stages where you know, like, You pushed your edges, like really connect with those moments, right? And it’s like, was I then you know what, when I was at my best, like, that’s one of those questions you can ask yourself, like, Who am I when I’m at my best, and ask the people around you? Who am I, when I’m at my best become your own source of inspiration? Because Yeah, you’re always there. You always are there.
Yeah. And a similar question I’ve been trying to ask myself recently is, when are the moments where I don’t want to be anywhere else because those are two moments where I’m in flow. And I’m in a zone of genius, or I’m giving exactly what I need to be giving and in that receiving. So that’s been a lot of food for thought recently, too. But I love the idea of picturing myself in 10 years, I have some fantastical ideas about who that is.
Great, great, I think the way in a way, the way that that’s cultivated, it’s exactly what you said, which is finding more and more moments where it’s like, I am so fully engaged in this moment that I can’t even conceive of being anywhere else. And like, you know, like a big part of our dialogue today. I’m just coming to the awareness now. It’s like, I haven’t thought about anything else. Like I haven’t. Same here. Like I’ve been fully here in Locke, and, and that is really what life like when we talk about living purpose, living a life of meaning. That’s what we’re talking about. And Phil Jackson, who’s one of the greatest NBA Coaches of all time. You know, he coached Michael Jordan to six straight championships Kobe Bryant to five, five champ, not six straight but six total championships, Kobe Bryant to five championships. I read his book over the weekend called sacred hoops. And he talked about when he won his very first championship as a player on the Knicks. It was a fleeting feeling because he was like, Okay, now what? And he realized that like, you know, many people, we’re constantly trying to get to the top of this mountain. And we think that when I get to the top of this mountain, when I slay this dragon, when I win this title, when I make this money, then all of my problems will be solved. And like I was when I was 30. Like I came to that recognize that realization. And what Phil Jackson said is, I actually stopped even though I’m striving for championships, it was really about placing the importance on full engagement in whatever I’m doing at that moment. And that is what led to 11 championships as a coach which is unheard of. So And, you know, again, just the synchronicities of what you’re saying and what I’ve been reading from some of the greatest and I wanted to make sure I brought that in here.
Oh, no. The obviously the stories are what help, you know, cement things, quotes are beautiful, and they’re thought provoking, but it’s the actual stories of how they were put into application. That’s when I think we really start to see a roadmap for how to use it rather than Well, that sounds great. Sounds great for you.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Well, Dominic, I mean, obviously, we could make this an eight hour podcast I we could talk about this all day, but I’m just so grateful that you took the time I know you’ve kept yourself tremendously busy. And I’m so grateful for the time you took today. I’m so happy I got to finally expose your brilliance to my audience. I think they there’s so much to benefit from there. And also just grateful for the the constant ebbing and flowing that you’re doing to pivot to meet whatever The situation is in the outside world. And however your gifts can help plug those gaps for people. It’s wonderful.
Yeah, thank you so much Lee and and right now the focus of my work is to make sure that I can help be a part of the rebuilding process like building a better normal through you know, the webinar series that I’ve been running through the coaching that I’m doing in my mastermind through the the podcasts that I run, which is called the great man within podcast and and so yeah, like I’m really out here making sure that like people know hey, like if if they’re looking for that kind of support, that this is what I do. And if I may like one of the things that that that’s been like super passionate for me that I’ve had a chance to see the benefit of is like for companies who are looking to change the climate in their organization. I’ve been doing these like multi week webinar series around building a better normal three weeks or five weeks and one of the most simple rewarding things, Leah that I’ve had a chance to see is, you know that question I asked on day one, like, what’s the one word that describes how you’re feeling? I asked that at the end of the fifth week or the end of the third week. And the word clouds are completely different. Wow. Like the word cloud on on day one, anxious, frustrated, exhausted, overwhelmed, fearful, uncertain. And then on day, you know, at the end of the third week or the fifth week, it’s hopeful, optimistic, in control, peaceful. And so like, that is the work that feels so important to me right now. Because inside of organizations where I’m talking, I say like 100 people, if 100 people have moved from stressed and anxious, optimistic and hopeful and in control, that’s 100 people bouncing off of each other that are like operating at a much higher level. That feels like a part of the rebuilding process. So if, if that is like if someone who’s listening if that is something that that like both Long’s inside of your work, like, come and find me because I feel like that’s, that’s my mission.
That is so incredible because not only are you having that ripple effect on that group of 100, but they’re not just atoms in a closed cell bouncing off each other, they’re going to be rippling onto everyone around them. So that is extraordinary and as a database person watching words and sentiment shift and a word cloud, I mean, that’s, that’s really amazing. So if someone wanted to get in touch with you about that program, how would they do that?
Yeah, you can email me at Dominic at Dominic q calm so I spelled Dominic do m i n IC K. At Dominic q comm you could always go to Dominic q calm and like reach out to me through that and I’m sure Leah you’ve got some sort of show notes or some sort of process that as well but just reach out to me directly and and this is something that I’ve seen super passionate about and I found that people are looking for like they’re tired of the, you know, the virtual web happy hours, you know, it’s like, okay, I can, I can only have so many like, you know, wine cocktail hours, people are looking for support over an extended period of time where they feel a shift and, and I would love to do it.
Well, a shift in the current circumstances. That’s pretty amazing and miraculous, considering so it must be an extraordinary program. Well, I’m just so thrilled that we finally got to connect on the show. And all of the links, we talked about all the resources, people, your books, your website, all of it will be on the show notes page for this episode. So please reach out follow Dominic. I can’t recommend him highly enough as a guide through all of this and beyond when we design our new normal, a normal we want to live into, right
Well, thanks again, Dominic and blessings and stay well throughout all of this.
Thankfully, I had I had a great time.
So I know that was a little bit off the beaten path. And it wasn’t all about data stories and chart techniques. But I’m hoping this little pause to bring you something bigger hit home for you and that you found something valuable to take away from it. You may be a practitioner, or a leader or a stakeholder or a client, but I see you as a human as well. And there’s been no more important time to recognize the human in each of us. To catch all of the links and resources we mentioned on this episode, visit the show notes page at Leah pika.com slash zero 57. I would love for you to leave me a comment of how this episode resonated for you what you’re struggling with Beyond just professional work and what this time period is teaching you, I’d really love to hear about what you’re working through the most. And following Dominic’s extremely intelligent suggestion. Please, if you’ve liked what you’ve heard, hop on over to iTunes to subscribe, leave a rating and review. It’s so easy. It’s right on the podcast page in iTunes. They are so appreciated because then I know I’m on the right track for you. And I’ll leave you with today’s not really presentation inspiration but bigger inspiration by the great Viktor Frankl once again, and that is when a man finds that it is his destiny to suffer. His unique opportunity lies in the way he bears his burden. Oh my take, how we perceive the challenges of this global situation will determine what we ultimately take away from It, we can see it all as something happening to us, or something happening for us. And since this is airing in the midst of an uprising that is already making major headway and enacting much needed change in the race conversation. This is without a doubt in my mind, happening for us as a society. And I’m truly heartened to see the collective action taken right now to communicate to our authorities and to the world. That unchecked racial police brutality may have scarred our past, but it has no place in our present or our future. Stay informed. Stay well. Stay safe. Namaste